I’m not gonna lie- I enjoy a quiet car ride. Call me lame if you want, but driving in silence is my jam. Unfortunately, it’s no one else’s jam in my family so it’s on the “things I’ll have when my house is empty and I’m lonely” list. I was driving who knows where the other morning, just me and my thoughts. And two chatty girls in the backseat but whatever. The day before I had been stressing out about our above ground pool. Ella’s birthday party was coming up and she wanted a mermaid theme… which definitely also meant swimming. Being the lazy slob that I am, I forgot to/just didn’t put away our pool from last year. I mean I took it down, it just laid in a pile in our yard through the entire fall, winter and spring. And for some reason it was now not working. DON’T YOU JUDGE ME- my life is controlled by tiny versions of myself that yell at me all day. I’ve been busy.
Anyway, the party stress is real for me. Not only had we been dealing with an annoying stomach bug for weeks, but we also had one thousand house projects to complete and the house was a wreck. Like I mentioned before, our Easy Set Pool had leaks in the air ring that I just couldn’t find. I thought I found them, until I found the air ring totally deflated again- so who knows how many more there were. After searching for over an hour in the 100+ degree heat, I was like I’M OUT. I considered staging an “accident” and ripping the whole thing to shreds. I didn’t, though, and I feel like I deserve a prize for my outstanding honesty. Did I mention that I did this while having a stomach bug? Like for real, friend, I should get a prize.
I told Nathan that night that I wished Amazon would do a “Deal of the Day” on the pool we needed so that we could just buy a new one and I wouldn’t have to pretend like I could fix it anymore. “But the deal would have to be up tomorrow,” I said, “so i could get it in time for the party and like maybe one thing could be easy this week.” He sarcastically nodded and agreed that that would be ideal.
My tum took a turn for the worst that night and I forgot all about this exchange until the next morning after Nathan had left for work. I heard the text tone on my phone and when I went to look at it, it was a message that read, “You’re prophetic!” with a link to Amazon’s Deal of the Day: the exact pool we needed. I squealed and laughed and instantly bought it HALF OFF, PEOPLE. On the exact day I needed it. Gah dang it was awesome.
That’s when I got in my car, pretending to be alone with my thoughts. I was reminded of how much I wanted that pool to go on sale right when it did. And this phrase began to repeat over and over in my mind: “Tie a string“. Suddenly my mind was flooded with memory after memory of when God had met a need in my life. Some needs were shallow, like this pool going on sale, and some where big- like getting pregnant after our journey through infertility. I both laughed and teared up as these memories replayed before my eyes. That’s an old saying, right? To tie a string around your finger so you won’t forget something? It never really made sense to me but whatever. All I could think was this, “I need to tie a string around my heart and remember all these things. All these ways God has provided for me.”
I soared on that thought all day. I’m not gonna lie- it was supposed to be a stressful day but with that tune in my heart… it just wasn’t. I kept remembering God’s faithfulness in little and big ways and I knew that He was whispering to me : “I’ve got this. And I really care.”
Friend, Nathan and I have walked through some LIFE together. Our story is not one of ease and comfort- it’s the total opposite. I’m no “prosperity gospel” type, but I am the type to believe that God sees you, friend. He sees your joys and your struggles. He sees your needs and He wants to be involved in absolutely every area of your life. When we surrender our lives, our relationships, our finances, our everything to Him- He really is so faithful to provide. Now, does He always provide in the ways we think He will? No. Will He give you a million dollars if you ask for it? I mean He’s not a dang vending machine, pal. But I’ll tell you this- He sees you. He knows. He knows your love language and He knows how to show His love to you best.
Nathan and I have been pressing into the Lord for some pretty big things lately, and I’m doing… ok with the waiting. Some days are better than others; waiting just isn’t my fave. But this little pool-on-sale thing, it actually wasn’t little to me. It was a tangible help, yes. But more than that it was Jesus saying, “Hey girl- I got you. If I care about your small things, don’t you think I care even more about your big things? Do you trust me? I haven’t forgotten about you.” And I needed all that. To know that He’s working- all things- for good in my life- I needed to be reminded of it.
I forget a lot, you know? I forget all that He’s rescued me from. I forget that He cares. When I’m surrounded in mess and struggle that has lasted for years it’s easy for me to focus on the “now” instead of the eternal, the struggle instead of the victory. It’s like my feet are stuck in a muddy beach at sunset. All I can stare at is the mud and I’m like “Yuck! HELP!” When there is beauty all around me and I can’t even see it. These strings I get to tie around my heart- one for each provision He’s given- they help me to remember that He is near and that He can make a way for me again. I can’t help but be reminded of the verse, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) And I can see it now- each string of His faithfulness and provision- tied around my heart creating a binding when they’re woven together. This binding, the fabric of His faithfulness, it’s all I need.
Friend, what strings do you need to tie around your heart today? What provision do you need to remember? Dig deep into your well of proof- really drink them all in. Remember all the big and small ways that Jesus has provided for you when you needed it and speak truth to yourself today. The truth that He is God and He is good. The truth that His ways are higher than ours and that He has something immeasurably better for you than you know right now. If you’re stuck in the waiting today this is especially important- to shake that feeling of fear or anxiety and replace it with the tried and true evidence of Jesus’s love for you.
I’m with you- right there in the waiting. Let’s speak truth to each other, shall we? I’ll go first. Three years ago Jesus made a way for me where there was no way- and we finally got pregnant after a long, hard road of negative pregnancy tests. It seemed impossible at the time, but now I get to hold our miracle baby in my arms every day and remember that He made a way for me.
Your turn. Let’s weave together a tapestry of His faithfulness- thick and rugged and beautiful. I can’t wait to read your strings!